It’s been a Pleasure

Posted: December 9, 2015 in Campus Tales
Tags: , , , , , , ,

The dean wants me gone! ‘Juma, you should be out of here soon’ the dean of students told me. I don’t’ know if it was my beard or something. We just came from no shave November! For crying out loud. I know my time here is over, but you guys should stop using that against me. Now everyone wants me gone. Did I wrong you fellow comrades? Wait, does it mean am no longer a comrade? Please let me belong for a few days only, embrace me.


Sunrise Hostels

My long campus life is coming to an end on the 23rd of December, which will be marked by the last exam I will ever sit for as an undergraduate student. Even though I have a few days left to spend with this annoying faces I hate to see, though I love, I already feel am not part of them anymore. These guys appear to have absorbed the shock and they’re dealing with it. They’ve gotten used to my absence. Truth is, every morning I wake up and when the thought of all that I will miss crosses my mind, I even fail to take my coffee, I find it so bitter!

It pains me that am splitting with all these people I’ve gotten used to. I will miss you so much, especially my neighbors. Now, my neighbors are those nice guys who wake you up at 6 am with the mighty smell of the holy blunt. One fast question for you gentlemen. How comes you smoke so early in the morning? Can’t you smoke some other time? Like say during the day when the rest of us are at school.

A big THANK YOU guys. For the years you’ve been my neighbors, I haven’t had to set an alarm. I know you can’t understand how much helpful you’ve been to me. You’ve always been my alarm and it has worked just perfectly. I will miss my roommate. All credits goes to him for all the kikuyu words I can now speak. barikiwe sana Macharia (pronounced Masharia). At least I can now eavesdrop into my missus conversation with her mom.

When her mom calls to tell to leave that omera (read, me) and hook up with a mwas from kiambu, hehe. Thank God I will know.Why do you love using the phrase “what the heck”? What happened to the hell we know? Did you guys burn it down? What beef do you have with hell, for Christ sake? Sorry chrisake.

I will miss our cleaner, Ishmael. Before this man Ishmael came, we had some robot cleaners. Not real robots, people robots.
They never talked to anyone. Am told they didn’t even talk to their boss. I heard that the day they got fired, their boss just hid their brooms and other cleaning materials! They had no brooms to push, and being that they didn’t speak, the gentlemen just left.

These are the people who would sweep your shoes all the way from 4th floor to the ground floor, only for you to come back from school in the evening and wonder which idiot would steal your tattered rubber shoes.  You would look around the whole apartment for shoes, just to find them hidden below the rungs.


It was even more annoying when you had been in your room ‘sleeping’ only to wake up and find your sandals gone and those of you girlfriend too. This guys were nasty and sad. That’s why this guy Ishmael is special. He is that type of guy who would put up a notice at the noticeboard requesting you to put your shoes in your room, or knock at your door to deliver the message in person if he felt you didn’t see his notice and your shoes are still at the door.

I will miss the television room. I will miss watching television at that place. I miss those days I would sit tight, pressing my ass on those green plastic chair for hours, cheering madly into the night and shouting till my voice would get sore. And still my team would be bitten. I will miss those noisy episodes that we had with this gang, Collo, Juma, Anto, Allano, Charity, Frank, Ibra, Joram, Andrew, Wayne (Wise) Shitemi (Papa)…

I will miss the occasional jokes flowing across the room, especially when Arsenal was losing. I will miss those guys who caught feelings on such talks. I will miss the ManUtd supporter’s silence. Recently, my team the Manchester United Football Club has had bad form. And we the gang have been forced to shut up and reserve our comments only when Arsenal is losing I will miss this beef. The mature beef that this gang displays when the game is on.

‘Mertesacker atateseka’ am leaving school with these words engraved in my mind. They are stuck in my head, like those church hymns we used to sing in high school. They are the words of a struggling ManUTD fun like me, Juma. Hopefully Mertesacker atateseka sana.

The rugby funs can’t be for forgotten. I have a special place for you in my heart. Rugby Saturdays cannot be forgotten. Thank you for waking me up so early Saturdays. Kevo, Pepe, Nelly. Your voices have stuck in my head. Even if I was deaf, I would still recognize their voices of these gang.

The formula one gang deserve a tip of the hat. These are guys of distinction. Men with passion for cars and speed. Men who love sports and know how to celebrate. You can never know whether Hamilton is losing or winning. This guys have mastered the art of celebration. They celebrate in peace. They have learnt celebrate orderly and properly, as well as to deal with frustration in equal measure. Andrew, Jemo and Frank. Hats off to you guys Big up fellows. Fellows, we’ve enjoyed each other’s company, and it is now time to say goodbye! Till we meet again!!!


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